The Realization of Self-Value

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Author: Evan Lyn

Article source: http://www.andhimazhai.com/. Used with author's permission.

Perhaps you don't feel good about yourself. Maybe somebody criticized you. Made fun of you. Laughed at a mistake you made. Insulted you. Because someone said something bad about you, you felt bad about yourself. Or maybe someone simply passed you over, and chose another instead of you - to be their employee, partner, friend, or lover. Other people have compared themselves to you, and they have judged you lacking. Because others have believed it was so, you believed that it was so.

But even if nobody says anything bad about you, you can still feel bad about yourself. Maybe you think you will never be as smart, rich, good-looking, popular, talented, competent, or successful as someone else. You feel because you have nothing, you believe that you are nothing. And because of this, you see yourself as less valuable, less worthy, and less wanted. You have compared yourself to others, and you have judged yourself lacking. Because you believe that this is so, you believe that it is so. Your belief has created your reality - and it has now become your reality.

This was once my reality, too - a long time ago, I also felt I had no value. People value those who are handsome, rich, talented, or popular - and because I was none of those things, and felt I never would be, I felt doomed to a life of mediocrity and unhappiness. I felt that because I was gifted with less, that I was less. I became unhappy with myself, and I became unhappy with my life and the world. It seemed unhappiness was my destiny. Others were so far ahead of me, and I was so hopelessly far behind. I felt unconfident, incompetent, and insecure about my future. And I felt helpless and powerless - because it seemed there was nothing I could do to change anything.

It took me a long time to realize that just because you believe you have little or no value, does not make it so. A belief is just a belief - and it may not be true. I knew that I had to have some value - but I did not know what that value was. Over time, I gradually walked out of despair, negativity, and unhappiness. For me, that has probably been the greatest personal accomplishment, success, and victory of my life. But none of this would have been possible without low self-value. I could not write about anything, and I could not share anything with you, if I had not first begun with so little self- value.

Today, I believe everyone has value - you, me, and every other person in the world. For you are a human being, and that means you are a very powerful being. You have the power to dwell in your unhappiness, or venture forth from it. You have the power to speak lies which will deceive, or the power to speak truth which will reveal. You have the power to harm others - or heal others. You have the power to live a life of courage, which can inspire others, or a life of fear, which will discourage others. You have the power to love and also the power to hate, which means you have the power to drastically affect other people's lives - including your own life.

And you also have the power to value others - or not to value others. When you value and believe in others, you strengthen otherswhen you devalue and lack faith in others, you weaken them. Whether we realize it or not, we all have a great impact on the lives of others. And as you value others, they will value you - because you gave them value when few others did. But as you devalue others, so they will tend to devalue you - because no one truly desires to be devalued. The value you give to others, returns to you.

Because you have these powers, you have the power to create value or to destroy value - both in the world, in your own life, and in the lives of others. Every person in the world can be, and truly is, at this very moment, both a creator and a destroyer. Every person in the world is a potentially formidable force - not to be underestimated, discounted, dismissed, or taken for granted. One dedicated teacher can create a life that positively enhances the lives of many, while one dedicated terrorist can create a life that negatively harms the lives of many. All it takes is one ordinary person - just like you or me, your neighbor next door, and every person you pass by on the street. You are one such a person. Within every person, lies a sleeping giant - and sleeping giants are very powerful, once they are awakened. But no one knows the time of that awakening. It might be next year or tomorrow - or it might have already begun. How can a person with such great potential and powers have no value? Every person on the planet, right at this very moment, is a living force for happiness or unhappiness, ugliness or beauty, courage or fear, hope or despair. In this light, there is no such thing as an "ordinary" person.

What you choose to do with your powers is your choice. You can even choose to do nothing with your powers - but doing nothing with your powers is the same as withholding your powers from others and the world. Letting your powers sit and waste is akin to destroying them slowly - and this affects both your life and the lives of all others as well. When you choose not to use your powers for others, you say "I choose not to harm you," but you also say, "I choose not to help you also." If you feel little self-value, perhaps it is only your heart telling you that you are not exercising your powers to create value at the level you truly wish. I believe that if you were creating genuine value in the world, you would genuinely feel your value. If you even realized that you truly were both a powerful creator and a terrible destroyer, you would not feel that you had little value.