Goal Setting and Goal Getting: Excuse, Accuse, Refuse

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Author: Jeff Herring

Article source: http://www.bigarticle.com/. Used with author's permission.

Excuse

Because of our well developed ability to rationalize (pronounced "rational - lies"), we can find an excuse for anything. Excuses usually sound something like this:

Well, I really wanted to, but I couldn't because (fill in the blank with a great sounding excuse)

You know, I tried to do it, but (fill in the blank again)

I did mean to do that, but (you know what to do here)

Allow me to take just a moment to say: BULL! Barring nuclear war, economic collapse, or a threat to your life, there is always a way to meet your goals, when you are committed. Even then, there is probably a way to get it done anyway.

Simply put, when it comes to achieving the goals you have set, there are no excuses.

Accuse

A close cousin to making excuses, another easy way to rational-lies (there's that word again) our falling is to accuse someone else. The thinking goes something like this: "if I can find a way to place the blame on someone or something else, then I am off the hook."

Accusations often sound something like this:

The other guy didn't do his part
My parents didn't give me enough
My parents gave me too much
My father was a (fill in the blank)
My mother was a (fill it in)
I never get any breaks
I don't know the right people
Yada-yada-yada-yada

Again, allow me to pause a moment to say: BULL! Let's say all of the above factors are true, even true for just one person. Then here's my question: "What does a person who got let down by a colleague, whose parents did too much/not enough, whose father was a this and whose mother was a that, and never gets any breaks nor knows the right people, (whew!) then do with the rest of their life?!?"

The answer lies, in part, on dropping the crutch like tendency to excuse and accuse, and develop the power to.......

Refuse

When we refuse to accept anything less than our goal, what were once large obstacles become mere challenges on which to sharpen our skills. Consider this quote from Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich":

"Every person who wins in any undertaking must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can one be sure of maintaining the state of mind known as a burning desire to win -essential to success."

Then there's an old story of a tribe in the southwest Pacific that can offer us some insight here. These folks would do a very interesting and empowering thing when they decided to sail to another island and take it over. Upon landing on the shore of the desired island, they would burn their boats. They was no retreat, and thus the commitment to meeting their goal was total and complete.

When we approach our goals with this kind of commitment and intensity, two very interesting things occur:

We build a momentum that is tough to beat We develop a feeling of certainty that we will achieve our goals, no matter what.